I have always been there
by helgafromtoe2bow
Summary: 'But as I recalled my past, there was barely a time when I hadn't moved the earth for him. Severus just didn't realise'...A character, who although it is not known to anyone, without the magical world may have fallen to Voldemort...
1. Present Day

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**...**

**Present Day**

Two weeks ago the Ministry of Magic sent me a letter, explaining that Hogwarts required a new professor, and asking whether I would be interested in the job. The position in question was Potions Master. I of course, already having a well-paid job that I loved, hating potions and having no previous teaching experience, accepted immediately. My close friends all thought I was a fool, downgrading myself like that, but I told them I wanted a new experience and to broaden my horizons. Utterly made up nonsense of course, but it was enough to convince them.

I made all necessary arrangements within a week, and then just sat around twiddling my thumbs until the date I was required to arrive at Hogwarts.

I despised my appearance, wishing for less common features. But being medium height, with curly light blonde hair and dark brown eyes was only part of my problem. I was getting older every day, already in my thirties. By now I _should_ have settled down. I _should_ have started a family. But every time love came my way I rejected it. I only wanted one man, and he would never want me.

I heard a knock at my door and made my way over to open it. "Miss, if you please we are ready to depart now. Would you like me to put your bags in the taxi?" a short fat little man said. He was from the witch and wizard taxi service that had been arranged to transport me to Hogwarts. Unfortunately apparition was out of the question due to the magically enchantments surrounding the castle.

"Yes thanks, they're just behind me." I replied pointing at my small pile of possessions.

It was a very long trip and the driver kept trying start conversations with me, mostly about Quidditch. In the end I informed him that I was not a fan of the sport. He stayed fairly quiet after that, glancing back at me every few minutes with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Here we are Miss, I'll leave your bags outside with one of the elves." He said upon arrival. I thanked him and paid my fair.

When he had left I walked nervously to the Grand Entrance, and knocked. The door swung open and I entered. It had been years since I had graduated, and it felt weird to be returning now, as one of the staff. "What does miss require?" asked one of the house elves who greeted me.

"I am here to fill the position of Potions Master, my name is Mary McDonald." I replied.

The house-elf nodded and said "The headmaster has been expecting you, please follow me Miss McDonald."

I followed, looking around me. Hogwarts hadn't changed at all. As we reached the headmaster's office my hands started shaking uncontrollably. Anticipation swept over me as I thought of the Headmaster, a man who I had not laid eyes on in almost one year, but had thought of everyday. A man who last year when Voldemort fell, barely escaped death.

I was shown in by the elf, who announced my presence and then left. "Ah, Martha isn't it?" a deep familiar voice asked. I sighed, a little crushed. Surely he would have remembered me?

"Actually it's -" I began

"Mary," he cut me off, "I know. Did you honestly think I would forget?"

"I-I don't know."

"I see you're still as slow with sentences as you were before." He said sarcastically.

I still couldn't see him as he was behind one of the bookcases. I looked down at my feet, and felt my heart race faster and faster as I heard his footsteps coming closer.

I raised my eyes, and there he was. Standing before me. Severus Snape.

He was perfect in every way. From his beautiful black shiny hair, to his manner, to his face, to his ...eyes, black like the night sky, never had I seen eyes like his. I stepped forward towards him instinctively, longing to be close to him. But he had already turned around, his cloak flapping impressively behind him, and taken a seat at his desk. He made a gesture for me to take the seat opposite. Complying I sat down. For a few moments I observed the room purposely avoiding eye contacted with Severus. The room was decorated in green. Most people would automatically assume this was for Slytherin, but I knew better. After all this time he was _still_ thinking of Lily Evans, or should I say Lily Potter. I sighed, no matter how long I waited and how much time passed he was never going to forget her. It was hopeless.

I finally let myself look at him. He was tilting his head to the side, quite obviously assessing me.

"You are here to fill the position of Potions Master." He put it as a fact rather than a question.

"Yes headmaster." I answered anyway.

"And you are to be accommodated on grounds. A room has been prepared for you which Tricky, one of our elves, will show you to. I expect you to act fairly and ensure that you educate our students to the best of your ability."

"I will." I said.

"Well if you have no further questions, Tricky will take you there directly." I cringed at his off-hand formal manner. Leaving the room I felt satisfied, unsatisfied, excited and disappointed all at the same time. I looked over my shoulder, Severus was fiercely writing on parchment, completely oblivious of me.

I was quite upset with our interaction as a whole though. It felt as though he was ungrateful for all that I had done for him. Although this wasn't his fault, as far as he knew I had never lifted a finger for him. But as I recalled my past, there was barely a time when I hadn't moved the earth for him. Severus just didn't realise.

**...**

**A/N : It took me a while to work out how to begin this story. I have a very detailed plot planned. I have already written the next few chapters, but I need to review them to check that they stay in line with my plot.**

**I would appreciate reviews and suggestions (please), on my writing techniques and anything in this story.**

**Oh please review, if I know enough people are interested in my story enough to take 30 seconds to write a review, I feel much more motivated to finish a fic :D**

**Thanks**


	2. Flashback

**Okay, so I didn't get many (being practically none) reviews on my last chapter, come on guys! Please take 30 seconds to write one, even an anonymous one! It is breaking my heart! I want to hear from you, even if you hate it. The story is about to get much more interesting I swear, but please please **_**please **_**review!**

**Okay so now Mary is going to tell about her time as a student and Hogwarts, and how great an influence she has on the wizard war!**

**FLASHBACK **

The first time I ever saw Severus was actually on my first day of Hogwarts. I remember boarding the train and looking through the compartments for somewhere free to sit. I was late so most of them were already full. At last I came to one that was almost empty, only containing a girl and boy. The girl was extremely pretty with fiery auburn hair and the greenest eyes that a person may ever behold. She looked friendly. I didn't pay much attention to the boy as I addressed them both with a "Hello." I smiled as I made my way in the compartment to sit down.

"It's_ full_." The boy sneered. For the first time I looked at him properly. He had already changed into his school robes, which I found to be strange. He had long black hair that whisked around his face. He had an air about him, I couldn't quite put my finger on it but somehow he seemed unloved. The girl's remarkable eyes were nothing compared to his, which were ...black?

"Sev don't be so rude, hi I'm Lily." She smiled.

"I'm Mary." I replied, taken aback by what _Sev_ said, opening the door to leave.

"Don't leave!" Lily quickly said, "Sev didn't mean it. _Did you_?" She shot him a warning look.

I expected him to ignore her and tell me to leave again, but to my surprise he grumbled out "No." and sighed.

I don't think I liked him very much, he was rude and condescending. But there was something about him that fascinated me. "So you're 'Sev' then?" I asked.

"It's Sev-er-us to you." He spat with hate.

I turned away from him feeling slightly inferior. Lily sensed the tension and made small talk with me for a few minutes about trains. I liked her a lot, but I couldn't focus on the conversation very well with the death stares the boy- Severus- was giving me. It sent shivers down my spine. How could he hate me so much, when he didn't even know me?

The train ride eventually ended, but not until Lily had practically talked about every subject under the sun with me. She ignored her friend due to his foul mood. This only made him look at me with more hatred.

Lily warned me of some of the other disagreeable students in our year. Severus and Lily had already had an unfriendly encounter with a group of boys who were in another compartment.

Lily was nice enough, but I didn't know what to make of that Severus though. After musing over his character for quite some time I suddenly realised that I shouldn't care what he thinks about me. After all, Severus was just some boy I happened to meet on a train, who hated me for no reason. This was_ my_ first time at Hogwarts. There were _much_ more important things to worry about.

After crossing the lake, and waiting inside for a while we were sorted into houses. I watched as each student was called up and the sorting hat was placed on their head. It would then shout out one of Hogwarts four houses. "GRYFFINDOR" it would yell, then "SLYTHERIN", "HUFFLEPUFF" and "RAVINCLAW".

I waited for my name to be called. 'McDonald', wasn't my real last name. It was my mother's. Although I had always introduced myself as a _McDonald_, I was officially a _Stripe_ – my father's muggle name. My mother, who was from a pure-blood wizard line, thought it would be better to enrol me under her last name. But my father would have no bar of it. He said I should be proud of who I was. And that was that. On the role I was to be Stripe.

So now I was near the end of the list and had to wait even longer. I took particular interest when Lily -'Evans' was the last name she was called up by- was sorted. I heard Severus groan from behind me as the sorting hat yelled out "GRYFFINDOR". Lily gave him a sad smile as she made her way over to the Gryffindor table.

He looked really disappointed although I didn't understand why. He could be sorted into Gryffindor, and if not they could still remain friends. Forgetting the sorting I observed him closely. He was slightly awkward, had a defensive manner, but was very sure of himself. Right now he looked deeply pained.

"Snape, Severus!" Professor McGonagall called out. I snapped back to reality as he walked up and the sorting hat was put on his head. "SLYTHERIN!" it yelled. I half smile curved on his lip. But after glancing at the Gryffindor table, it quickly disappeared.

Professor McGonagall turned back to the group of remaining students and called out "Stripe, Mary"

I waited for a student to walk up, but after a few moments nobody did-

WAIT THAT WAS MY NAME! I hurried over to the professor colouring slightly. A few older students snickered, but I ignored them. My hands were shaking, and I had goose bumps. I felt the sorting hat being shoved on my head,

'Hmmm...' it said, or rather thought, to me 'you're a difficult one, maybe even the hardest yet.'

I glanced over at Severus, wondering what he was doing. He was ignoring the sorting, obviously deeply lost in thought. I don't know why but this disappointed me.

'You are loyal,' the hat said 'smart, brave... and cunning even.'

Why is my sorting taking so long? I started to worry. 'Please,' I begged 'tell me what house I am to be in, the suspense is killing me!'

'Your character is too divided I cannot decide.' The hat sounded defeated, 'In hundreds of years this has NEVER happened! I must resort to asking you _which_ house_ you _would prefer.'

'I get to choose?' I asked.

'You must choose,' replied the hat 'for otherwise we will be here for weeks.'

It was then that I noticed the look of astonishment on the students and teachers faces. 'What are they staring at?' I asked.

'You. There has never been a student who took so long to get sorted, so if you please, HURRY UP AND CHOOSE!' the hat was getting annoyed.

Severus was now looking at me probably wondering why everyone was so interested in my sorting. My curiosity of him heightened. I considered going into Slytherin, just to satisfy it. But I changed my mind when I realised the best way to learn more about him, was to become close to Lily. 'Can I go into Gryffindor please?' I asked.

'You could make a good Slytherin though, very cunning indeed –Or then again, Ravinclaw, maybe, you have the brains – But still Hufflepuff would suit you, you're a good_ finder._'

'What does 'finding' have to do with Hufflepuff?'

'It doesn't have anything to do with it –I mean that just _slipped_ out, I don't know _what _I was thinking.' the hat answered, 'Still Gryffindor is as good a house as any, for _you_. At least I think it is? '

"Gryf-fin-dor?" the hat said aloud this time. Although he still did not sound entirely sure of himself. I went and sat beside Lily, certain that _I_ had made the right choice.

I could not help but notice that my fellow Gryffindors were less enthusiastic to receive me than they had the other students. They barely even clapped – actually I heard a few coughs spluttered out in the near silence. I suppose it concerned them that my sorting had taken_ so_ long. I suppose it also concerned them that the sorting hat didn't seem _confident_ to put me here. I suppose in a way they felt I was _less_ Gryffindor than them.

But this wasn't true! I knew I was as much Gryffindor as anyone of them –I was just could have been other things too. Like Slytherin. But as it was, I WAS GRIFFINDOR!

Lily, at least, seemed very pleased that I was in her house. "I'm so glad I know someone here." she smiled happily, putting an arm around me in a half-hug.

The boy sitting on the other side of her turned and said "Hey, you know me. We met on the train _remember. _I'm Sirius Black by the way." He was quite handsome and had a laidback air about him. He gave us both a big grin and then addressed me in particular. "Boy, you took a long time to be sorted!" he shook his head chuckling "It didn't know where to put cha, did it? For a moment I thought it would have put me in Slytherin, because that's where all my family has gone. But I guess I really am the 'Black' sheep of the family!" Another boy with messy black hair laughed at his friend's corny joke.

The other boy then added "Be thankful you weren't, those Slytherins are a pack of weirdos!"

"That's not true!" Lily said indignantly.

"Oh don't tell me you think that loser boy –Snivellus, is actually decent?" He said sending both himself and Sirius into laughter.

"James, what's wrong with him?" Sirius said in a mocking tone, in between chuckles "I mean surely underneath all those baggy clothes, ugly face and grim expression is a lovely _likeable_ boy."

"THAT'S IT!" raged Lily "I'M SICK OF YOU BOTH – I can't bear to be around people who are so rude. I'm moving. Care to join me Mary?"

I nodded my head, finding both Sirius and James obnoxious.

"You don't have to leave," said Sirius "we were only mucking around, weren't we James?"

"Yeah we're sorry." He nodded in agreement. Then they both broke out into fits of laughter again.

Ignoring them Lily and I found alternative seats at the other end of the table, enjoying the rest of our first feast in Hogwarts, _without_ them.

**If I get a couple of reviews I'll post up the next chapter tomorrow If not then I'll wait until I do. Please guys...**


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